Take the leap - Why decision-making is so difficult for us

I wrote this in 2022, came back, and made up edits- Here we are, living in the decision

Would you judge me if I said I recently watched the Matrix (The matrix one) for the first time? And the end of 2022, I watched The Matrix Resurrection (The most recent one) and I really enjoyed it. Though I liked the movie, I never went back to watch all of the others. Instead, I ended up watching the first Matrix on accident and it was amazing! Why didn’t you all tell me it was that good!??

If you’ve watched the Matrix, you know may know where this is going, but if you haven’t then I suggest that you should watch it. In the meantime, I’ll summarize it in one sentence; the main character has to make a decision, red pill vs blue pill. This decision is so trivial to the storyline because whichever pill he chooses will be the deciding factor in how his life plays out.

The whole concept of the Matrix is a bit dramatic but that’s how 2022 felt for me and after speaking with others, they revealed it felt the same way for them. In 2022, there was this constant feeling that any decision I made would change my life forever and that brought me lots of stress and anxiety. Whether it was staying in a relationship, in a city, or at a job, everything felt heavy. The weight of making the decision is what lead to me and even my friends not choosing something at all. Of course, as time passed, staying stagnant made things get worst.

One of the last photos of myself in 2022. Shot by my amazing friend Rucky

If you know me personally, you know how I am when it comes to life, I thrive in the black-and-white aspect of it. Most times, if things feel gray, I will find a way to remove myself. If I was in the Matrix, I would’ve easily chosen any pill because it's black or white, red or blue, you get it. As much as I want things to be black and white at all times, life is not that way at all, and that’s the beauty. Unlike the matrix, choosing something will not be the end all be all because we are humans and we will change our minds. The most important thing is just deciding because the worst thing you can do is stay still. Not only will you end up losing time, but you may also lose your sanity. Make the decision, communicate, and stand in your truth.

Now, some decisions may seem permanent – i.e quitting a job but creating a smart plan is still making a decision on its own. Reminder, with every decision, comes a sacrifice so do not let the aspect of losing something stop you from making the decision.

As we start 2023, I ask that you reflect on the year and create a list of what you want out of your life. Don’t just write it down, BE INTENTIONAL, and tell someone you trust so that they hold you accountable. If you still feel like you’re not there yet, I ask that you pray AND watch the Matrix.